Back home

We are back from California!
It was such a great trip. The weather was warm and dry. I even got a sunburn! That's probably the most sun I will see for a while because I feel like the sun is never out here.

Anyway, our flights were good. We had a layover in Las Vegas on the way out and that was delayed about an hour because of mechanical problems. We ended up having to get on another plane to get to San Diego. But we were there before noon so it wasn't too bad.

We were exhausted though. We got up at 3am (central time, that's 1am pacific) to get our plane and we were up until about 11pm because we went to the rehearsal dinner.

The dinner was really nice. Hors d'oevres were passed around and I made sure to circulate through the room so that when they were offered I could decline by saying I was full from the other hors d'oevres I had eaten. (Fact: all I had was one slice of cucumber with Ahi Tuna Sushi on top... It was delicious).

Also, there was an open bar. Which meant free Gin and Tonic for me! And I have to say, the bartender made excellent G&T. Perfect proportions.

Then, dinner rolled around. There was no getting out of eating all together, but I did pick at things until the waiter asked if I they could take my plate. The salad was really good. It was a spring mix with craisins, pecans, bleu cheese crumbles and apple pieces with a raspberry vinaigrette. I did eat that whole thing.
For my dinner I had a little steak with asparagus and two bites of mashed potato. Dessert was creme brulee (which my husband ate most of).

But I can't pretend I didn't consume many calories. The G&T I'm sure had HFCS because most tonic water contains it. Also, I decided to have a glass of cabernet with dinner... And they kept re-filling it! It was a bottomless glass of wine!

It's safe to say by the end of dinner, I was sufficiently wasted. The problem was, trying to make it look like I wasn't that drunk. My husband almost never drinks and his immediate family doesn't drink at all. So I didn't want to embarrass myself in front of them.
But also, his grandfather was there with his wife as well as my husbands great aunt and uncle and they were all drinking. They are all REALLY funny too. I love them. At one point, I was trying to have a conversation with his great aunt and she was having some trouble getting her words out. She was like "Tell ya what... Why don't we have this conversation again sometime when we are sober." Haha!

Saturday was the wedding. It was beautiful. It was outside at this old mission and the sun was out but there was a cool breeze.

I tried not to spend too much time comparing myself to the people around me. I usually feel pretty good about myself because I live in a very obese area, but being in SoCal was a little intimidating. I frequently felt like a whale next to the stick thin figures of the west coast. All tan and blond. But I wasn't the fattest person there so there is a little solace in that.

But what bothered me the most was how intimidated I am by the bride. She is very small (short and thin) with big eyes and pretty brown hair (I have always wanted brown hair. My is dirty blond and it just looks like dirt).
But not only that, she started college when she was 17 and is now going to medical school.

Now granted, I started taking college classes at the age of 15, graduated high school at 16 and began college full-time at 17, and will be attending the top Chiropractic school in the world later this year. I have nothing to be ashamed of. But I have always been known as "the smart one" wherever I am. And she gets so much attention for being smart and pretty and it kills me. I never thought it would. I always thought that if people didn't think of me as the smartest person in the room, I would be okay with it.
Sometimes I wish I was going to medical school. Every one thought I would be an MD with my intelligence and passion for health. But the fact is, I don't like the direction medicine is heading and I know I wouldn't enjoy it. So I am going to be doing something I am passionate about. That's supposed to be a good thing, right?

On top of that, she wants to work in developing countries after she graduates.
This girl is stealing my thunder! I am supposed to be the smart, pretty, philanthropic one!
It kills me when some one else gets attention for being a good person.
Did I mention is is also funny?

And I can't hate her either. She's really nice. She's friendly and outgoing and honestly, I wish we lived closer because I would like to become better friends with her. But instead I just watch her life from afar as every one admires her.
But I don't have anything against her. I have everything against me. I need to get over it.

I need to get some coffee and go to work.