Monday, February 9, 2015

Vodka doesn't smell. And you're drunker than I am.

Well, I've found a job; as Dr. Aye Ell (not my real name, obviously), at a small private practice. My boss hired me cause I'm skinny.

Unfortunately, I'm not skinny. For real. And I almost feel like I deceived her in a way. I was about ten pounds skinnier when she hired me three months ago. She's a kind person, but shallow to boot. She has passed up other doctors likely more qualified than myself, because they are too fat. Her reasoning is that we preach health, and we can't teach tell other people to be healthy when we are - and I'm paraphrasing here - fat slobs. I didn't realize the extent of her obsession with skinny until I had worked there for a few weeks.

When I interviewed for the job, I didn't even know if I wanted it. I found out through a friend that this woman was hiring and I figured I would go talk to her; see how she practices, what she is like, etc. We visited for about an hour, and I left with a job offer. A week later, I accepted it.

What I didn't know going into the position, was her obsession with being skinny. She's tall (even taller than I am, which is rare) and slim, but apparently used to be even thinner. She is constantly either dieting, or talking about dieting. She walks around the office saying "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels!"

What have I gotten myself into?

Her boyfriend is dying of cancer, and do you know what she is most upset about? He used to outweigh her by 60 pounds, and now he weighs just less than she does. She was so upset about this! Not that he is dying, but that she weighs more than he does. She can't deal with it.

So now we are on a diet. Well, not yet, but we will be. She ordered us some diet pills with the justification of "We will take these, and if we lose weight, we will sell them in our office."

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little excited that some one bought me diet pills and is making me take them, but I realized going into this that I don't like dieting with other people. I don't join the group fasts that go around on these blogs, and I don't like talking about dieting with people I know. I think it reminds me too much of growing up around food obsessions and how annoying I found it all. It just feels like sadness.

Anyway, we haven't started it yet. Haven't decided when to start it. My family is coming out to visit me (for the first time ever) next week so I kind of don't want to be "dieting" when they come out.  My hypocritical mother would not be happy with me if I was trying to lose weight (even though she is the same size as I am and is constantly trying to lose weight. Hypocrite).