I'm not into him. But his wife is perfect. And in my mind, if he's married to her, but he wants me, that makes me better than her.
And I'm certain he's not into me. But men want me. It's not a secret and I can't pretend that men find me repulsive. I'm popular and an uncomfortable number of my male friends have what I would call "crushes" on me. I pretend to not notice, but I'm aware. And I'm fairly certain that if all the men want me and my attention is focused on him, that makes him better than all the other men.
It's a weird mess and everything I hate about him are all of the things I hate about myself.