Step 1) Get violently ill.
This post may be a little gross to read. If you don't like reading gross posts, you should probably stop reading.
I'm not sure what happened to me the last day and a half. Two nights ago I started feeling sick to my stomach. Yesterday I felt even worse and ended up leaving work early for fear of throwing up. From the time I got home at 2:30 in the afternoon until I went to bed around 10pm last night, all I did was have diarrhea. Constantly. I don't even know how there was that much to come out of me. By the end of it, it was all just this yellowy liquid that burned a lot. It was awful. I was so empty and dehydrated that I was freezing and husband came in to the bedroom and asked why I just had a sweatshirt draped over me. I told him it was because I was too drained to even put it over my head.
It was around 10pm that the madness stopped and I knew I should eat something but I feared it would hurt too bad. I ended up having a banana, which took me almost an hour to eat, and a glass of water. This combination caused a little more burning liquid to be expelled from my body but that seemed to be about the end of it.
After having the banana I just wanted to go to bed. I was exhausted and I ended up shivering myself to sleep under flannel sheets, a heavy blanket and two down comforters while Husband tried to keep me warm.
I'm feeling much better this morning. Still pretty exhausted and a little afraid to eat anything but certainly in less pain.
Luckily I am only working a 3 hour shift today. Which hardly seems worth it, but today I am not complaining.