I've gained about 4 pounds.
I've been drinking a lot. Food has stayed about the same. Alcohol has increased.
And the most concerning thing has been that I'm more worried about how to eat less than drink less.
I've seen so many videos online about girls who "had" eating disorders. They talk about weighing themselves "EVERY DAY" as though that's such a scary, disordered thing. I roll my eyes every time.
Once per day seems pretty healthy at this point. I know my stepping on and off the scale multiple times over the day while calculating "am, I hydrated? how many hours since I last ate? how much salt/sugar have I had? what am I wearing?" is insane, but I can't stop.
I can't stop stepping on and off the scale.
I can't stop drinking.
I can't stop eating.
I can't stop starving.
I just can't stop.