"You don’t know anyone at the party, so you don’t want to go. You don’t like cottage cheese, so you haven’t eaten it in years. This is your choice, of course, but don’t kid yourself: it’s also the flinch. Your personality is not set in stone. You may think a morning coffee is the most enjoyable thing in the world, but it’s really just a habit. Thirty days without it, and you would be fine. You think you have a soul mate, but in fact you could have had any number of spouses. You would have evolved differently, but been just as happy.
You can change what you want about yourself at any time. You see
yourself as someone who can’t write or play an instrument, who gives in
to temptation or makes bad decisions, but that’s really not you. It’s
not ingrained. It’s not your personality. Your personality is something
else, something deeper than just preferences, and these details on the
surface, you can change anytime you like.
If it is useful to do so, you must abandon your identity and start again. Sometimes, it’s the only way.
Set fire to your old self. It’s not needed here. It’s too busy
shopping, gossiping about others, and watching days go by and asking why
you haven’t gotten as far as you’d like. This old self will die and be
forgotten by all but family, and replaced by someone who makes a