Friday, December 28, 2012

The other side

I made it through! Mostly successfully.

Stepping on the scale today, I told myself "As long as it's under _ _ _ lbs, I can handle it"
And I was 0.5 lbs under that number.

The number that put me at about a 5 pound gain.

So I'm 4.5 lbs heavier than I was this time last week, which ordinarily would be a devastating number, however, when I take long trips I tend to gain 2-3 lbs of travel bloat that usually takes less than two days to take off, so that will be gone soon. And the other pound or two I doubt will take more than a week. And since I have nowhere I have to go for the coming week, I'm not going to stress about it.

My only real concern is that I am currently fighting off a cold, I can feel it. So as long as I keep that at bay, I should be able to restrict and exercise plenty to get these pounds off. 

Mom kept her crazy to a minimum during my visit, which was nice. She's a little hard to deal with but I find as long as I just smile and nod and keep my mouth shut while she rambles on about conspiracy theories and how every one in the world (including all of her children) are so beneath her, then everything is fine.
It's only a few days.

Christmas day I ate WAY too much sugar. As most of you know, I am sugar-aphobic. So typically, I don't eat much of it. But Christmas Eve and Christmas day I ate fudge, chocolate, almond bark, almond cake, peppermint bark, pie, ice cream and banana/sweet cream crepes. My body was on total sugar overload and I felt SOOOO sick to my stomach. I can't remember the last time I felt that nauseous. So I purged some of it in the bathroom.

As many of you know, I hate purging, so I wasn't psyched to be doing this, but I'm not counting it as a standard b/p kind of thing that I try to avoid. I didn't bring nearly everything up. Just enough to get rid of the nausea. I thought of bringing more up. It was tempting beyond belief. But I was too worried that I would either a) leave the bathroom thinking "hey, my stomach is now empty, I could probably stuff some more shit down my throat", or b) fall back in to a habit of purging. Neither of which were options I like, so I just brought up enough to quell the nausea. What really sucked is that I have had a giant canker sore in the back of my mouth for almost a week now and so I hadn't been moving my mouth to any large degree (more than was required to stuff my face with sugar) and when I purged I basically pulled my mylohyoid muscle. It hurt so bad! So still had a mild stomach ache, a very large canker sore and now a pulled mylohyoid. I admitted defeat at that point and went to bed.

This brings me to my next point: That instance aside, 2012 will now be my second full calendar year since high school of no purging! And it has been good for me. Fewer binges. Net loss of pounds over the year. Even though I have gone up and down a lot, I'm ending this year thinner than I ended last year which was thinner than I ended the year before that.
I'm still nowhere near the stick figure I was at the end of high school but I have hope. I really do.

Any one making New Years resolutions? I would like to. I didn't make any definitive ones last year, but I think I would like to this year.

Options I am considering:
Drinking more water (some set amount more)
Being more disciplined at getting up early and working out
Something pertaining to my personal appearance. I am one of those people who gets busy and stops putting in effort. That needs to stop.
Monthly weight loss goals
Getting a 4.0 in one of (if not all of) my terms this year at school (I've come close)
Brushing up on my Russian
Begin memorizing some complex textbook (I met a man who had both Guyton's and Gray's memorized. That amazes me)

Maybe I will pick two or three of these and make them more specific and make those my goals.

1 comment:

  1. My resolution is to read all the books that I bought a year or more ago and still haven't opened. It's really sad, but the list contains over 30 titles, including the monstrous War and Peace (if I read 4 chapters a day, I can finish it in 3 months lol).