Thursday, October 27, 2016

A few more days of struggle

Today I should begin carb loading.

Sunday I have a 50k. I want to enjoy it. I want to finish it. For the past couple of weeks I had been looking forward to these few days because I knew I would be giving myself permission to eat basically anything and everything, knowing I will need nearly 5,000 Calories in my system on Sunday (granted, some of that can be stored fat - oh that all of it could be - and some of it can be eaten the day of) but in order to make it through I know I also need stored glycogen which I should be getting now. I should also be resting because I injured my back two weeks ago and it has been getting better but I'm not at 100% yet, so really I should be resting and eating.

I made a smoothie for myself this morning. It had Kashi plant-based protein, banana, strawberries, raspberries, spirulina, peanut butter and flax milk. It was around 300 Calories, and I should have just let it nourish my system. Instead I went out and ran 3 miles to get the 300 Calories out. How am I supposed to store nutrients if I insist on burning them immediately?

The problem is, I know I have been making progress, and I want to keep making progress. I'm anxious to break back down into the 140's (geez, I can't believe I'm so big I think 140's is an accomplishment) and while the rational part of my mind knows I won't throw it all down the drain by eating and resting for three days and then running 31 miles on Sunday, I still can't bring myself to do it. It's too terrifying.


  1. Good luck on Sunday. I know it's hard, but sometimes we do need that little extra nutrition, especially with such a long run coming up. Keep telling yourself it's only temporary, that after Sunday you can get back to your regular routine. I'm sure the enjoyment you'll get from finishing the run will be worth it :)


  2. Wow girl, 50km?
    Right now I am: in total awe of you, jealous, in awe, jealous, in awe, blah blah.
    You're my new superhero.
    Good luck and keep us posted about it please!!!