Sunday, March 18, 2012

Success and story time (and by story, I mean trigger)

So, last summer, I pretty much wore gym shorts and yoga capris the whole summer because even though I dropped a few pounds, I didn't fit into the things I had worn the summer before.

Today (since the weather all of a sudden got really hot) I went through my old summer clothes, hoping I had lost enough weight that they fit this summer.

Success! Even though my weight hasn't changed much in the past two weeks (though I have lost about another pound), I have been steadily losing since the beginning of the year. The best part is that my favorite green shorts fit again. I love them. I will almost be sad when they are too big because they fit me better than any shorts ever have.

The problem is, I have a fairly small waist. And very large thighs. And when you go up sizes in shorts, the legs stay the same and waist gets bigger, which is the opposite of what I need. But not the green shorts. They are just the right length and they sit high enough on my waist that my ass crack doesn't hang out when I pick something up but they don't turn into meat casing around my thighs. And they are cute. And I love them.

The other day at school I was chatting with a friend and he was telling me about getting drunk with his girlfriend. He sent her a text to see how she was feeling the next day. I asked if she really had that much to drink. He said "well, she had about as much as I did, but she's only about 108 pounds, so..."
And I swear that was a challenge.
All I could think was: he must have been thinking about how HUGE I am. He probably feels sorry for my husband.

Now, don't get me wrong. I have seen pictures of her and she is probably 6 inches shorter than I am (with bigger boobs and nicer hair). So 108 for her looks like a pretty normal person. That would put me at about a BMI of 15 (which is more than my sister's BMI, she is my height and only about 106 so I really have no excuse).

But this is exactly what I hate. I know I'm not that fat, realistically. My BMI is in the normal range (I hate that more than I should) and I am very muscular and athletic. A number of my friends constantly covet that flatness of my stomach. But I am so tall and broad shouldered/hipped that even when I am not fat I am just big. Which is why I really need to get smaller. Run more. Eat less.

Also, later that day, my other friend (also male) was commenting on how he loves warm weather because it means girls are walking around in next to nothing.
And all I could think of was "well, she's about 108 lbs".

All of my friends at school are men. And they have really hot gf/fiancee/wives who are smaller than me. Which means I always feel like I have to cover up around them because if they see my legs or arms they will be grossed out.

I just need to keep on track. I have been running at least 15 miles every week and I just got some new running clothes so I am even more motivated (cause I HATE wasting money). Also, with the weather being nice my allergies have been bothering me. The best solution for that? Stop eating grains. Cures seasonal allergies and makes me look hot. I can get there. Slowly but effectively. I'm getting there.


  1. i was always big too. not fat. just big from gymnastics and having so much muscle. i've lost a lot of weight but even still in some pics i just look a little buff in my chest area even though my arms are thinner. some things about your body are unchangeable BUT with weight loss it does get closer to your ideal. Hope your new motivation helps you get closer to your goal.

  2. First off - gz on fitting on those shorts again.. It's always a great feeling to put one something you think might not fit and they fit great :)

    Second - I don't think the number or the BMI really matter - it could be tiny and some of us would still think it is way too high- I think when you reach the place you are happy you will be able to see pass the part of the body your not happy with no matter what the numbers say :)

    GL with everything :)