Pregnancy Update

I've gained a pound since my last post. That still puts me two pounds below my starting weight.
If I was to gain 15 pounds starting today, that would require a 300 Cal per day surplus. I think I've been getting close to that the past few days. I haven't been counting. I started to the first few weeks but it was driving me mad so I had to stop. Now I just estimate, which is a little scary because I don't want to go overboard.

Also my stomach is starting to protrude a little. I've mostly been hiding it under over-sized sweaters because I don't look pregnant yet, I just look bloated. Ugh. Looking forward to actually looking pregnant. Also my boobs are bigger which is weird to get used to because I've been so small in the chest my whole life.
Rapid body changes are scary.

Thanks for your kind words Lucy, It's hard to take care of myself but I'm trying.

Knocked up

They say to not talk about getting pregnant....

About 6 months ago, husband and I had finally decided that in the next year or so, we would perhaps stop trying to not have kids, and see what happens. I wanted to wait a year so that I had some time to lose weight. Not good to diet while pregnant.

Well, I had started losing when lo and behold.... I accidentally got pregnant in the beginning of August. Yikes.

It was a total shock and to be honest my first thought was "I'm not skinny enough yet".

The advantage I suppose? I'm not overweight, but I've been at the high end of my "normal" BMI for a while, and according to my doctor I only need to gain a minimum of 15 pounds.
What? I totally thought that even if you were overweight, you needed to gain at least 20 pounds.
So 15 is the goal.
Maybe it would be healthier to cut myself some slack, but honestly so many women do that (especially in America) and just go nuts when pregnant and gain like 60 pounds, which also is not healthy. I will not be in that boat.

So I'm almost 3 months pregnant and have so far lost 3 pounds. I've been cautious and slow about it. I'm not starving myself (who am I?). But everything I've read says that it's not unsafe to lose a little weight in your first trimester, and it's actually pretty common as so many women have morning sickness. It won't harm the baby. But I'm nearing the end of my first trimester so soon weight loss will not be considered okay.

I've been trying my best to just get the highest nutrition for the lowest calories possible. The trouble is, I have had a MAJOR sweet tooth and I crave candy all the time (which is atypical for me). Also, I haven't really eaten meat in a few weeks. It doesn't make me sick, but I find it kind of gross. I've mostly been eating a lot of fruit since it seems to mostly satisfy my sweet tooth and is actually nutritious. And then rice and beans for protein.

I've also been fortunate that I've felt good exercising, but most days it's hard to motivate myself to as I've been very tired.

I hope I handle the weight gain okay. My stomach is starting to protrude a little. I'm sure it's not noticeable to anyone else, but it is to me. It's simultaneously excited about it and terrified. It's going to be a weird year.

The Midwest

The pro/con of living in the Midwest: I have a false sense of feeling/looking "thin". I was at two different parties on Saturday and I was the thinnest woman there by at least 60 lbs. Some more than 100. On the one hand it made me not want to eat because hi, I don't need to go down that road, but on the other it always seems like women who are bigger care more about how much thinner women are eating or not eating. Like they have to make you eat more to make themselves feel better. I was initially saving my calories for alcohol but when it looked like the only alcohol was Busch Lite (which is so low in alcohol I can't drink it fast enough to get even a slight buzz, even on an empty stomach) I ate some fruit, vegetables, and a split a piece of cake with Husband. Should've skipped all of that because later I found out there was some stronger drink, which I ended up having (obviously) which put me way over my calorie limit. 

I'm going back to the Czech Republic in two weeks and I am about 7 lbs heavier than I was last year. Nothing worse than not seeing a bunch of people for a year and showing up the next year fatter. ESPECIALLY as an American. It's such an embarrassing stereotype. I'm hoping to drop at least the 7 lbs so that I'm at least not fatter.... thinner would've been better but I've had no self-control. IDK what my deal is. To make matters worse, I remember how physically demanding the trip was last year (see a few posts ago) and I'm not in good shape either. Might be time to dig a hole for me.... 

And to add insult, Husband has been loosely dieting for two weeks now and has lost 10 lbs without ANY exercise. Sometimes living with a man is the worst. 

Vora

Any one else using the Vora app? It's a fasting app and it's my new favorite motivation. Timers and bar graphs are quite motivational to me. It's a little easier to say "maybe just a couple more hours before I eat".

Down 3 lbs this week.

Over

In case you are wondering, I'm still obsessive. Going a year without weighing myself was only helpful in one respect, and that's that I can go on vacation and not have access to a scale and not panic about it. I made it a whole year, I can make it a week.

Other than that, I gained weight, so I obviously can't be trusted. I'm back on the restricting wagon.

I'm limiting everything except vegetables. Trying to stay under 1000 kcals every day, and running at least 5 km everyday (though ideally more than 10, but my schedule is busy and time is limited).